Temptations

I came across endless temptations today.  First of all, I was running late in the morning so I didn't grab much of a breakfast. Luckily, I had a portioned baggie of strawberries and bluberries which I had on my way to work. I munched on some seeded flatbread crackers.  I didn't grab a lunch either, and I was temped with cheese puffs, popcorn, and pepsi for snack at a funeral service...and I was temped seeing as how I didn't know what else I'd grab for lunch...knowing I had a meeting in a few minutes. I skipped it anyway and decided I'd rather be hungry than have those. After the meeting, I was offered subway or burger king for lunch. My heart was saying burger king, but my brain said subway. I was given a free cookie and I had an iced tea (not soda).  After work, I went to the bar for a going away party and they had 2 for 1's. I shared a deal with a friend so I ended up only having one beer. I almost got another round for myself...but I didn't. And I was going to get bar food...but I didn't.   I went to chipotle and got a burrito bowl instead. It may not be better calorie wise...but I feel like the ingredients are better options than fried bar food. 

I went to MOA to meet a friend and run some errands. I walked at a fast pace for the entire time I was there, and I was tempted by all things that were chocolate. Yes, I'm PMS-ing, and all I want is chocolate. I bought a couple chocolate treats from rocky mountain (1 for today and 1 for tomorrow in case I get a craving again), and I got a small 1/2 cup of chocolate ice cream from cold stone.

It may not seem like a lot of temptations, but it sure felt like it. Especially during the first half of the day with lunch and happy hour. 

I didn't mention this on my goals list from yesterdays post, but I'm also going to stop drinking soda again.  Its such a terrible substance. But addicting. SI've done it before, so I know I can do it again.  I'm proud that I thought of having soda at LEAST 4 times today, but I didn't. Which is weird because I don't drink soda everyday anyway. 

So here goes to fighting temptations, especially during the beginning stage of my battle.

Broken Record

Wanting to lose weight is like a broken record.  I'll feel motivated to workout, eat well, lose weight and just be healthy...and I'm successful for a few weeks.  And then for whatever reason, I stop.  Then SEVERAL months down the road, I feel that motivation again.  Well, it's happened again...

but this time, it's different.

Rather than feeling motivated to lose weight to be healthy...I'm feeling SCARED.  I've been plateaued at 190-195 lbs for awhile now.  That was always my heaviest weight, and I knew it was getting REAL close to 200, which nobody wants, unless you're a male professional athlete who NEEDS to have that weight (which is probably muscle for them anyway).  

With my newest promotion at work, I thought it would put a stop to my frequent visits to fast food places.  I didn't think I'd be on the run as frequently as I was during my last position.  And I thought I'd have packed lunches at my desk most of the week.  Well, I've been eating fast food like it's my job, for the past couple months.  I could start feeling my pants getting tighter, my muffin top getting bigger, my face getting rounder...

I went to the doctor's office yesterday and got weighed in and I weighed 208.  gross.  That's all I have to say.  I usually weigh myself in the mornings, naked, before I jump in the shower...so that's me on an empty stomach.  So 208 MIGHT be a couple pounds higher than if I weighed myself at home that morning.  But either way...NOT HEALTHY.  

I've never felt so afraid before, regarding my weight and my health.  

Last night, Sasha and I went to the gym, and we rode the bike and it was tougher than I thought.  I rode the bike on "random" for 20 minutes, then I did the basic elliptical for 10 minutes.  It was really tiring, seeing as how I haven't worked out in such a long time...and I've gained weight...but I kept going because I knew that I was sweating a lot, which means I'm working out...and I NEED to get it done.  

So cheers, to me, for a successful sweaty workout.  

Today, I am making a promise...I will lose weight.  I'm not promising how many pounds I'll lose or any specific goals about my weight...just that I will lose some weight.  I need to make a lifestyle change. 

Here are some things I will work on starting immediately: 

 * cut out fast food (healthier salad choices are okay)

 * workout (gym, outdoor activities/sports, exercise apps on my phone for quick workouts, etc)

 * be more mindful when picking foods (not so much junk food, picking better options at restaurants, etc)

 * BLOG the truth about my progress

It's also important for me to know that if I make a bad decision one day - my life is not over...I just have to know what I did, and move on from that mistake, rather than give up.  

Today, I slept in, and I had a protein shake for breakfast with a lot of water.  For lunch, which I'm about to eat, I will have grilled chicken and baked sweet potato wedges made from home, and blueberries.